Hark, I think I see something!

This evening, while watching the Devil Wears Prada with two beautiful ladies, one of these women ripped apart the resume I had worked on for about thirty minutes. The "real world" is calling, pulling, and scratching, saying, "You better be ready, because we are ready for you." When I first handed the word document over to her, she just kinda laughed, but lovingly got to work on it. She worked through the movie, and I learned how difficult attempting to write, "leading campers through activities such as improvisational games and fire-building" could take 10 minutes to write, and it isn't even that good. I also learned that I am "a skilled Internet researcher."

The scary thing is that I may actually be qualified to do something with my life. A few months ago I decided I have no skills. Andrea can make coffee, but I can't even do that. Yes, I know it is easy, but somehow, I can't do that. People skills are skills, or so I am told. And yes, this may be a common theme, but it is a common theme on the blog, because it is a common thread in my life. Almost every day someone asks me where I will be in June. At first I laugh, and then I really have no answer. But in a few months (like end of February?) I will probably be applying for jobs.

I have friends who have it figured out, one friend in particular, has the job and the boyfriend. She is going apartment shopping after the new year. I look her, and I see determination, and I realize that she got lucky. Then I look at my premed friends, who are anxious about mail, about interviews, about their entire future being on the line, if they don't get in, where do they go? I look at my friends who are applying to graduate schools, at least one more year of school, some for doctorate programs, however many more years on top of that one year. A friend who is researching for his doctorate in chemistry hates one day and may love it the next.

But now I am armed, somewhat, and then all I need is the Holy Spirit in me, and the word as my sword, then I am truly armed.

What?

In the past two months, I know five couples who have gotten engaged, mostly from Valpo.

Relax and fun

Being home is normally somewhat stressful, because I usually have nothing to do. Yes, this does sound like some great break, but not for this girl. However, this break, while it has only lasted a few days thus far has been pretty good. Most of my high school friends aren't getting home until today, so I have been sleeping in, reading, and doing some shopping. I watched White Christmas, of course it made me miss snow (when they have a whole song devoted to it).

Yesterday was great, again, I slept in, read, lounged around and then headed out to Chicago to see my old improv producer give his first performance in Chicago. The show was free because they are still students, and some of the students are better than the others. I can say (probably with some bias) that Andy was one of the better students, and his group was probably the strongest. Dinner before the show as great, we talked about and I experienced awkward acts of chivalry, like when I went to the restroom, when I came back, the lad sitting next to me pulled out my chair with his foot, and then pulled the table closer to me (and then it was further away from the people on the other side, sucks to them).

Improv people can be so clever, probably one of my favorite running jokes of the evening was the life size action figured accountant.

there is a first for everything

Pretty much the first time since I was a freshman in high school, someone asked if I was older than I actually am. Yes, this is a very small thing in life, but it made me smile (and I already was smiling a whole lot). Yesterday, Heather and I exchanged gifts, even though it wasn't planned, because we rock. She bought me an Ann Lamott book which is wonderful since we both love her and reading her is like eating a perfectly ripe orange, the combination of the savory taste and the health of the fruit is almost unbelievable. It is easy to really enjoy her books, but doesn't just write stories, she writes about her life, and her life is funny and full of events which you can relate.
Anyway, today I saw another book written by her on the shelf at the library and wanted to check it out. I brought it up to the desk, and the girl working said I would only be able to have it until the end of today. And then, this is all this is, asked if I was faculty. Yes, this is something small, but the fact that she could even conceive this in any way makes me smile, because maybe I don't look 18 anymore.

Re-evaluating my taste in, well, pretty much everything

The last few days have been pretty awful, well, certain events led it to be that way. Today my inorganic chemistry class met for the last time and we gave presentations at our professors house. We also had to turn in a five page paper. Ok, that doesn't sound so bad, except that I didn't really start thinking about this paper until about, Friday. Friday night, I was in the library just searching random things, "inorganic chemistry," "ultrafast ligands" etc. And then something fell upon my lap, and I ended up coming up with solar cells, they actually have a purpose for the research. Saturday morning, arrive at the library at 9.15am, continue to find articles. Ryan arrives around 11.30am, we chat about my paper, he tells me everything will be fine, we talk through it. He leaves a few hours later. I eventually leave the library at 5.20pm, at this point I have one page written. It made me want to throw up, I was scared that this paper was not going to get done.

Took a five hour break to go to a masquerade ball, which was quite enjoyable, some moments better than others, but who has a perfect evening when a paper is looming on your mind? My friends are hanging out after the ball, and I come back to my dorm, and start work on the paper. Around 2.00am, I realize that I cannot concentrate anymore, and have to sleep, again, feeling very uneasy about it. My alarm wakes me up at 8.00am (Sunday) and for the next two hours, somehow I get out two more pages and am then done!

After the fesitve celebration upon completion of the paper with the topic of, "Dye-sensitized solar cells" wore down, I headed to my indoor intramural soccer game (which we won) and came back with bruises on my shins. I quickly write up the presentation, shower and head over to the professor's house at 4.30pm, we all leave the house at 9.30pm, my classmates are wonderful. I mean this with all truthiness.

Tomorrow starts finals week, yeah, it is scary. But I don't have 7.45am class, I get to sleep in, and just watched Center Stage. This is a movie I watched in junior high with my friends and loved it. I still love it, but I was watching, it made me chuckle quite a few times at the dialogue and the actors, it is cute when dancers try to be actors. Does this mean I have reevaluate all of my taste in movies? Yes, people have informed me that I have bad taste, or no taste in movies, but I can still love them, right?

Ok, so maybe it won't be that way

I have come to the conclusion that I won't be saving the world, at least not the way that every parent wants their child to do. Or how my friends in my classes will. I won't be saving lives in a hospital, I won't be discovering the cure for cancer, and really, that sits really well with me. If you can't tell, the semester is about to end, and the number one thing people have been asking me this semester, "What does your future hold?" In all actuality, I somewhat know, but it just scares me. It is crossing that bridge into adulthood. College is fake, I don't worry about rent or bills, I just worry about my grades and what have I forgotten to do for the Frisbee team. But next year, I will be living in my first apartment, maybe? And where will this apartment be? That is quite yet to be determined.
"If you move all they way to the pacific northwest, how will I ever visit you?" Coming to Valpo was hard, but exciting. I didn't know anyone when I cam here freshman year, but quickly made friends, my freshman year is what everyone's freshman year should be, full of amazing friendships, heartbreaks, good professors, involvement in new things. Then sophomore year was everything the opposite of that. Now, almost four years after I started college, I am about to end it, and will I be saving lives? I think so, I just have to trust in what my path really is. So I will be saving lives, and I am pretty sure that none of it will have to do with Inorganic Chemistry. Weird.

how many things?

Last night I went on my date, and it was a good time, I lauged a lot, but here is what happened:
We left campus around 5.15pm and headed to Target. Upon starting the car, we found out the heat didn't work. "It's ok, I don't even like being warm." But the problem was the defrosters didn't work, shoot. As we were driving it was too bad, but then the lights from the other cars and pediestrians on the sidewalk made us realize that we were in a death mobile. We went into to Target and I tried to get my prescription filled, wishing that the heat would magically start working. This was a negative.

Matt then figured he could get his window down and drive with his head out the window, unfortunately the window didn't work either. Awesome. So we called our mutual friend, Heather, and about a half an hour later we found ourselves on a triple date. Dinner was good, conversation was hilarious, per norm when you have that many improv actors together. After dinner we borrowed Heather's car and got an obsene number of baked goods. We headed for the Berg lounge and watched half a movie, consumed cresents and cookies, and then the movie stopped working because it is badly scratched, again, awesome.

We had also purchased Monkey Bread, which is cinnamon bread that is best if microwaved. What? And headed over to hang out with Heather and Andy. Well, they were having a sleep-a-thon and were pretty confused when we called, and they said that they didn't really feel like hanging out, but to please drop the car off. Yeah, sure, but then we had to walk back to the dorm in the freezing night. And I was wearing a skirt because I rule like that.

You would think that the night would be free from disaster at this point, but just wait. We decided to play some ping pong, we got the paddles, ball and net but found the table to be a bit broken. One sid saged which put one person at a disadvantage. But we decided to play anyway, and there was no way to put up the net, yeah, we played two games of ping pong with a broken table and no net.

But then we just talked about Harry Potter and Star Wars for three hours, sweet.

Little Happiness

Ok, I know it is cliche, but it is the little things that make me smile every day, and here are a few of them:

• getting the chance to toss around a Frisbee even if it is just for five minutes
• making my whole Inorganic chemistry class laugh (including the professor) with just one comment
• checking out my Tübingen websites, and seeing no bus on the Neckarbrücke
• eating oreo mouse with Heather
• saying, "I love you" when I get off the phone with my parents
• receiving text messages from Emily and Bethany about random things
• being able to watch for people who pick me up from my window (I can see the Berg tournaround